On January 26th in 2009, Down Goes Brown blogger Sean McIndoe opened a Twitter account in the name of Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke and proceeded to parody a witty fictional inner-monologue of the brash bossman.
What started as a one-off joke evolved into 95 tweets over 63 days. A selection of Sean's tweets are posted below with an entire archive here:
- In the press box in Minnesota. Just noticed that every time Cliff Fletcher walks by, Doug Risebrough instinctively covers his bumhole.
- Just wondering: if Mayers or May fight Derek Boogard, do they come off the salary cap right away or do we have to wait for the funeral?
- Brian Murray called to talk trade, but he kept using this obviously fake lisp so I hung up on him.
- @SedinTwinsAgent... OK, you've got a deal. But remember we have to keep this a secret until July 1.
- Just to clarify: When I said Antropov needs a "change of scenery", I didn't mean trading him. I meant trading every one of his teammates.
- Congratulated Stempniak on scoring in his first game as a Leaf. He said he's actually been here for three months. First I've heard of it.
- Leaving Florida, but we'll be back in mid-March. And by "we", I mean me, the coaches, and about four players.
- @BobGainey: Mathieu Schneider? Any relation to the guy who played for the Habs when they last won a Cup? Like his grandson or something?
- @JasonBlake: You know, there are some really nice tanning salons in Toronto. Even an hour or two a week can work wonders. Just saying.
- Tomas Kaberle and I are working together on his trade deadline options. He gave me a list of 10 teams. I gave him back a list of 20 more.
- Just ran into Kyle Wellwood arriving at the ACC. He seemed kind of depressed. Told him to keep his chins up.
- Dave Shoalts is outraged that someone would fraudulently pass themselves off as a Leafs GM. Where was he when JFJ did it for four years?
- I promised Mark Bell I'd put him on waivers to give him a shot at playing for an NHL team. He was just claimed by the Rangers. Close enough.
- Was excited to see Fletcher and Nonis on the phone all morning. Just realized they were talking to each other. Guys, you sit ten feet apart!
- Told the team to embrace the role of "spoiler". They've responded by telling playoff contenders the endings of movies they haven't seen yet.
- Updating my address book. @BobGainey, will you still have the same e-mail when you're fired five minutes after the regular season ends?
- Pogge was so upset after last night's game that he threw himself in front of my car - but it went through his legs! So I backed over him.
Sean eventually terminated the handle, posting his final Burke tweet on March 29th, 2009. Brian Burke subsequently became active on Twitter with @LeafsBB20, which he later abandoned in favor of @Burkie2020 once dismissed from the Leafs and hired by the Calgary Flames.
McIndoe has since published a few books (The Best of Down Goes Brown [2012], The 100 Greatest Players in NHL History (And Other Stuff) [2017], The Down Goes Brown History of the NHL [2018]) and continues to share his hockey musings on his blog, Grantland, The Athletic, Biscuits and through his Twitter account @DownGoesBrown.
That's today in NHL history.
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